How is Real Estate Shakin' Down in Arlington MA so Far?

How's it shakin'? Well,...shake an apple tree and the apples fall down. You can say that, and that may well have a few of your local agents shaking in their boots, but hold on, take a breath -- innnnn, hold it:....outtttt. Now let us do some math...

Hmmm, carry the two add column one plus the seven and ah, -- according to MLS, that source of unyielding approbation amongst agents, total sales in Arlington fell (for the first 6 months of 2011) from 2010's 150 units down to 121: a drop of over 19 percent. Yet, lest we panic and jump out our windows, sniff some chocolate and bear with me:

Unit sales were down but prices were up: 69 singles swapped hands in 2010 (Jan-Jun) at an average price of $486k (give or take a few bucks). "Only" 56 "manses" blew out in the same period for 2011, but they did so for a whopping $562k -- over $75,000 more per home.

Condos you ask?. OK, I tell: 2010 saw 69 sets (yup, same number as single homes) of owners crossing pens at the closing tables. In 2011, a mere 60 condos swapped out. Average price in '10 was $397k; in '11 $379. A wee bit of motion sickness there, but let's not call TARP yet -- take a Pepto and call me in the morning...

Multis? Well, 12 in aught 10; a mere 5 in '11, with prices moving UP an average of EXACTLY $1,942 -- the number was so small, I "figgered" I had room to put it all in.

What can we make of all this? I "dunno", but it IS my turn to cook dinner tonight -- I'm suddenly in the mood for some "Shake-n-Bake".

F O R E !!!!!!! (closure)

Why, exactly do the pluggers yell, "FORE",before they hack the golf ball 30 yards into the zip code directly to the left?

I thought about this because, as our title intimates, foreclosures are, and have been on my mind lately. You see, there a foreclosure auction scheduled on the property next door to mine, and while in some climes, whole neighborhoods seem to be trending towards the "BIG F", in my corner of the world, it is as rare as a straight talking politician.

So "Fore" has been on my mind: Fore, as in beFORE, FOREfathers, FOREcastle, and so on and so on. You get the drift? "Fore" has something to do with "in fornt of" "ahead of" "the earlier in a sequence". So the golfer is yelling,. "Fore!", to tell everyone the sequence -- "I am going to hit the ball, then it is going to smash the windshield of that BMW yonder.

So, "Foreclosure" is saying (and this is being said by the "bank"). "We are going to do this," have an auction of YOUR home, "BEFORE we get closure to the promissory (Better to spell that 'I Promise I'm SORRY!') note you, the homeowner signed, with obviously your middle finger 'up-pointed' right at us."

Yup, that is what it is... a notification of a sequence of events...that is why they call it what they call it. Not that any of this matters to my neighbors...they are long gone: hightailed it back to the old country in the Pacific rim (stiffing the bank, the town the utilities, the newspaper boy and the guy who plowed out their driveway...).

Too bad, maybe the "bank" should have done something more proactive...maybe a "WayBeforeForeclosure".

May Fall Ours in Arlington (MA)

Get it? May fall ours...May Flowers?...Oh well.

A look at last year in Arlington shows up 64 sales in the residential world. This year, with a week or so to go, we've got 19 -- that's quite a fall. Unless there is a big change in the weather in the next week (and there "may" be -- 64 props are under agreement ready to close), we are gonna see a fall in sales.

Not that the folks who popped off those sales are complaining (well, maybe they are). Average sales for singles are up -- 527k vs 495 for last year. Condos ditto: up about 4k from last year. Fewer days on market meant that agents had more time to shuffle around the aisles of the new MarketBasket just up the road (maybe they shouldn't be doing that...there's 160 properties for sale in town!)

We are used to propes popping off the shelves in Arlington. Looking at the singles on market, we see the AVERAGE home is now on market for 71 days and counting; the counting won't stop until the dotted lines are signed. The homes that have already sold did so in 48 days on average (my listing business banged out in 30, but that is just me...note to self -- big pat on the back is due).

So where do we stand in all this? Maybe we are standing at the peak, or most likely a very long plateau...one thing is certain -- the grass is going to need cutting no matter.

First Quarter Real Estate "Round Down"

Get it? Round-up? ... "down"?... Never mind. The idea up there was a hint that first quarter 2011 sales were down in numbers of transactions in 2011 versus 2010...at least in the areas that I haunt.

Looking at the 3 Musketeers of residential RE (Singles, Condos and Multis), only Watertown improved over 2010 in the seven towns where I did some work. Belmont was down 2 (32 in 2011 versus 34 for 2010), Newton dropped 7 units from 2020's 122; Lexington sank to 58 from 2010's 62. Waltham got "clocked" (get it? Waltham Watch/Clock Company?) -- down to 78 sales from 2020's 93. Medford finished out the quarter at 79 sales (11 below 2010); Arlington ran out at 69; 8 shy of 2010's total. Only Watertown upped the ante: 61 sales for Q1 2011 UP from 2010's 52.

I wouldn't put too much stock into this, yet folks. Let's wait 'til we review the numbers and the mix -- then we can decide what to do with "all" our stock...Stay tuned.

Un-Staging

Everybody knows about staging. Okay, so maybe a few of you good folks do not, so by way of quick explanation, "Staging" is a concept wherein a seller prepares the home for sale by doing cockamamie things that the "home stagers" tell you will sell your home FASTFASTFAST.

Now, folks, you and I know that so nobody is fooled by some bric-a-brac bought at the local Homegoods store, or candles burning in the alcove. We ALL know that in order to sell a home FASTFASTFAST, you have to price it RIGHTRIGHTRIGHT.

I have never been one for staging. It all looks so phony to me. I walk into a "staged" home and I think of Ikea; I smell the scented candles and I want to sneeze at best (at worst, I want to look behind the fridge for the mildew).

No folks, I do not like staging, but that does not mean I am in favor of UN-STAGING...

UN-Staging is a concept I developed. I tell my clients that we must make sure not to unstage and they ask, "What, perchance is that?"

Un-staging is what I call the act of NOT doing those things that will turn off a buyer or, at best, mitigate against a favorable offer. Herewith is a list of UN-Staging items -- things we should not do:

Do not leave the foreclosure notice on the dining room table -- No one is going to up their offer for your home if they know you are in hock up to your hams. Likewise the overdue bills.

Do not show off your pets -- Fido suffers from "bad breath in dog's mouth", sorry to tell you that (you smell just like him after all these years of letting him sit in your lap). No one thinks your dog is cute. As soon as I see a free range dog, I begin to wonder where is the wee-wee stain from those paper training days.

Cats -- forget it, lock 'em up. Every five minutes they are hurling a hair ball; the litter box stinks and the food on the floor is gross.

Hubby -- if the man of the house uses male enhancement, for goodness sakes, hide the bottle; do not leave it on the dresser. We ALL know what goes on in the bedroom, and we may even go to a movie and watch Sasha Gray do it in mind boggling concatenations of styling, but we DO NOT want to think about YOU doing it. While you are at it,...change the bedsheets.

We have all been told that cooking makes a buyer feel all warm and fuzzy, but DO NOT leave the stew on the stove during a showing. The whole recipe is going to boil down to a tarry mass while you are gone and the house will stink like burnt rubber.

I love fireplaces, but do NOT leave 'em going when I show up with a prospective buyer. The only message that can come of this is, "What kind of a moron lives here who would light a fireplace and leave?"

Do not put the dirty diapers into the diaper bin -- they still stink! You just can't smell it anymore. Put the whole bin outside. While you are at it, take down some of Junior's picture. Too many pictures makes the house look too well lived in.

Don't use the basement for storage! If "ya got" clutter, rent a place. Boxes piled high just look like you are hiding something.

Hide the magazine collections. We are all very impressed knowing you read the New Yorker...this week's issue is just fine, but we DON'T need to see them going back to 1965.

Don't leave 3 weeks of leftovers in the fridge. It smells, and at any rate, the fridge may well be part of the offer. Even if it is not, the buyers are going to open it.

Do you really need to leave that box of Trojan's in the medicine cabinet? Do you really need to leave the "Girls Gone Wild" DVDs on the night rest? If you do, at least leave a copy of Citizen Kane there.

DO NOT vacuum TOMORROW! Do it today.

Do not soak the dishes.

Do NOT smoke...EVER. In fact, stop smoking TEN YEARS before you decide to sell. That is how long the nicotine is going to take to dry out of your wall board.

Don't leave fancy chocolates around...good ol' Hershey works just fine. I mean, it might not have an impact on selling the home but, well, what I mean is...I like Hershey...

A Friend in Need Should NOT Be a Friend (IN)Deed

She comes to me and says, "We were together for 5 years. It seemed only natural."

My friend here (ALL my friends are women), was showing me shapshots of the renovated kitchen in the condo she bought "yonder" about 8 years ago. "I mean," she postured, "We did so much work on the place, together, and he seemed to be the perfect guy!"

Now, folks, those of you who know me, can well attest that I work magic on women -- I make 'em disappear! I bring this up to point out that IF I knew what was the perfect man, I would have fashioned myself to be one long ago....So I asked her, "Perfect? How so."

"Well, single, never married, no kids, fortyish, living with his mother..." I lose it there...Any woman who thinks a forty-year-old living with is mother is perfect, well...'nuf said on that!

"So," she continues, "it was only natural. It seemed so normal to do it....And then I find out -- he's been in so many affairs that he should be a caterer! And he comes to me and tells me he's got some girl pregnant and, get this...he wonders if maybe it might be best if WE raise the child as OUR own!" And off she goes to Sobbingland.

"Well throw Old Lochinvar out, for crissake," I say.

"But I can't."

"Listen, honey," I move in for the heart-to-heart, "this is no time to play the conscience, the guy's a bum with a wet wick..."

"No it is not that," she cries, "we were an 'US'; a together, a 'WE'...so last year, I put his name on the deed. I can't throw him out; he owns the place too!" (And now even I'M crying!) "Yes, last year, while he was shakin' and bakin' in Miss GirlScoutCookie's oven, I was off at the lawyer changing the ownership of this place from a 'ME' to a 'WE'. On our 'quote' anniversary, 'unquote', I showed it to him. So Ya see, I can't throw him out, no more than he can throw me out! And he can bring his damn cupcake in with him, I suppose and we can all do a 3-some, or maybe THEY do a 2-some while I burp the baby." And inconsolable tears aplenty pour forth.

Readers, when words fail me (and they DO NOT FAIL very often), I think of cleavage, and here, words failed me... For a few short moments, I thought about how my friend would look in a shred of lingerie from the Frederick's of Hollywood collection (this situation was WELL beyond Victoria's Secret stuttering!).

"Uhhh, yeah," I say, my "unShakesperean moment continuing, "Uhh ya," and I say the only thing I can say, "Call your attorney."

Who knows, maybe it all can be undone. Maybe there is something in deceitful intent...but one thing is for certain -- don't make a friend, indeed, a friend IN DEED.

If it Sounds Too Good to be True, it is Probably a (NEW) Agent Talking

She's showing the listing of mine in Arlington. I'm there to make sure the dog does not bite. She's this cute little kitten of an agent holding out her shiny new business card, and showing me her license (still warm from the presses).

Her customer asks, "Where is the property line", and the sprightly, energetic young lass replies, "Over there...see the fence?" and she prances across the yard all the while talking about the shrubbery and other flotsam of greenery this "yard" will fairly produce under the pressure of a will green thumb.

I, of course, am not thinking green: I am turning red. As her customers plot and plan their futures in a tad of privacy under the canopy of a catalpa tree, I whisk the young agent over to an opposite corner, and as delicately as possible ask her, "Are you friggin' crazy or just stupid?" (OK I did not say "friggin'")

"What?" she asks.

"You," I say, "just told your customer where the property line is? How do you know? How do you know that the fence is not misplaced, or recessed or EVEN meant to be on the property line of THIS property or the neighbor's."

"Well," she says, rather non-plussed, "CAVEAT EMPTOR! -- Buyer beware!" and she jingle jangles off to show them the inside of the home with the new windows and new what nots (note to readers -- is something "NEW" if it is one month old? 1 year old? who is to say what is new?)

Ya see folks, here in my little corner of the world, there is NO SUCH THING AS CAVEAT EMPTOR -- BUYER BEWARE!!!!!!! No such thing, no such thing! We have, instead, 93A -- the Consumer Protection Act (MGL Chapter 93A).

93A protects consumers from, well... being misled and harmed by statements from those who are professionals in their fields. In other words it gives the inexperienced consumer protection from being rough-shod by some hi-falutin' wheeler dealer, right?

Right, but it DOES more: it "imposes responsibility for false statements made in good faith. The broker can obtain no refuge from liability because of the statement being made in good faith on her part" (from Grynowicki v. Silvia, 1994 Mass App 173).

Despite the new agent's best intentions and good faith, she runs afoul of consumer protection laws and risks heavy damages assessed --- and she DOES NOT EVEN KNOW IT!

So what to do? I took her buyers aside, and told them that the fence may or may not be the line. I told them we do not have a survey, and the owners of the home do not have a survey. The only way to be sure is with a survey. In other words I saved her (nicely sculpted at SuperFitness) BUTT!

So remember, buyers do not have to "beware" -- they do not even have to be AWARE! They just have to mention 93A!.

Order of Notice Review 2010

For those folks who do not know what is an "Order of Notice", let us move into the magical land of make believe: let us imagine this scenerio:

Scene 1, Take 1: Owner opens letter on the table. Perplexed by the big words, and stymied by the reference to military personnel, the owner puts down the letter, picks it up, reads it again.
Scene 2, Take 1: Owner divides the big words in the calligraphy on the page and realizes that this letter is notice that their "banker" intends to begin foreclosure proceedings. The letter in hand is serving notice that if the owner is active in the military service of his/her country, he/she should so make written notice to that effect...and so our story goes.

The "OON" is a good indicator on foreclosures. In Belmont, 12 neighbors got the OON in 2010. That is an imporvement of the 17 who got the riot act put on them on 2009. Sad, but a bucking of the trend as the chart below of surrounding towns details:


Waltham in 2010 104; in 2009 73
Lexington in 2010 20; in 2009 16
Arlington in 2010 38; in 2009 13
Medford in 2010 119; in 2009 111
Watertown in 2010 38; in 2009 38

This may well look like good news for Belmont, but silver linings, DO, in fact cover the storms. It may well be that so many of our homes were bought at such infalted prices, that banks DO NOT WANT TO FORECLOSE. Why foreclose on an unsellable property; why pick up ownership and have to pay those taxes? Better to let the defaulting owner dangle in the breeze (or hurricane).

Not too funny, but then, it isn't supposed to be.

An MVP award in Arlington (MA) 2010 Condo Review

A few days ago, we happily reported the triple crown winner for 2010 was Arlington (single family sales). Single family's battery-mate, the condo, went to bat also and put up numbers worthy of Willie Mays or Mickey Mantle (pre-steroid heros).

In 2010, 201 condo docs changed hands; eleven fewer than the number that got got snatched up in 2009. BUT -- the average price long balled up to $396,242 from $350,223 (13%). Days on market was clocked on the speed gun at 59.46 (according1g to MLS), and was was nearly 11 days faster than 2009! And in the all important slugging-percentage-like area of price per square foot, 2010 knocked it out at $285 per, versus 2009's $279.

If there is one weak hole (and there ever is: even Ted Williams had a weak hole -- he batted [his own assessment] a paltry .240 when going after the low inside pitches), that weak hole would be expired listing. In 2009, 57 listings failed to sell. In 2010, 114 owners were "left on base".

As the season swings into high gear we are left to wonder: will they improve in their offensive categories and drive in those 114 owners, or will the season swing somewhere else? I thin the former.

A "Triple Crown" in Arlington

Arlington wins the MVP award for 2010 (as far as agents are concerned, anyway). Buyers and sellers stepped up the plate and cracked out an amazing 277 deals; a 12% increase over 2009. And there were no "cheap shots" here: the heavy lumber was out according to MLS what with average sale price going the distance and coming in at $537,511 (a 5 percent increase in that power catagory)!

Ahhh, but to complete the steller year, in came the speed: average days on market was a good ol' fashioned "Ryan's Express" down the middle: 48.57 days on market -- 3 days faster than 2009.

Sales, Price and Speed. The three big stats. what does all this mean for the 2011"season"? Who knows, but I would not be surpised to see a few more agents driving new "beemers" around Arlington in the next few months.

Value Added Investment Grade? One step at a Time

Agents live for broker tours. For those not of the "cognoscenti", a broker tour is like an Open House, except it is an Open House for the "elect" -- read that for only brokers. It is a chance for a listing agent to show a property to other agents in the hope they may well have a client who would like the home. Agents going on tour do not necessarily like the Broker Tours for this -- they like it for the free food that is usually spread out by the Listing Agent to entice the traffic. For example, in my corner of the world, "lunch" is served in Belmont, Arlington and Cambridge on Tuesdays, Wednesday it is Newton, and Friday it is Watertown and Waltham (yum yum). Other towns in my area have their days...check an agent's GPS history and you can figure that out for Medford, Lexington, Wellesley, Brookline and so on.

The other day, I go to this broker tour. I am cheerfully met at the door by a sprightly young agent (I know she is young...the low cut sweater [a Cashmere Over Sized Cowl Tunic from Michael Star; $326] that she wears is slightly amiss at the left shoulder exposing not just a maroon bra strap [Victoria's Secret], but also the wing of an angel tattoo pricked into the skin, I surmise, after a long night with some Brown University frat boy(s?) -- I recognize the work...Ronnie's Tattoo, Providence, RI; $89.99).

"Welcome," she says, and, "Oh, could you please remove your shoes?"

Now readers, at my stage in life and in this place and time, I should be excited when a woman asks me to remove ANY article of my clothing, in this case, if for nothing else, for the one second of fantasy that this person has a foot fetish. Alas, sadly, she spoke too fast and cut all "fantasm" to the quick.

"It is the rugs," she imparts, "they are collector quality."

For the first time, I looked below the agent's torso, passed the Eileen Fisher Stretch Ponte Pencil Skirt (Sak's Fifth Avenue, $158), down the finely waxed calves (Li Kim Thuy's Nail and Wax Shop [bikini lines a specialty], Dorchester, perhaps?) and down to the bare feet ("Shoeless" Joe Jackson; Chicago White Sox, 1919). Off to the right was an imitation brass scupper (Home and Hearth, $68), and neatly resting in it were the agent's shoes; black high heeled "court pumps" from Redoute Creations, Paris (40 Euros or 60 bucks at current exchange rates).

"You see," she continued, "the rugs are all quite pricey. This one is an Isfahan and over there in the sitting room is a Bakhshaish. This runner is a Hussainaba. They are investments!"

Now folks, I really do not want to talk rugs here, but rugs as an investment?...I mean if you want people to just stamp and stomp all over your investments, that is O.K, but why not just give your money to Wall Street? That's what they down there everyday.

"Uh, huh," I say as I remove my shoes (PayLess $14.99 Buy-One-Get-One-Free [BOGO]), thanking God for the wisdom of that trip to Marshall's the day before (New black socks, slightly irregular, 6 pair; $3.99). As I am doing this, I am searching about for the route to the kitchen and the free lunch platter laid out. After all, all I want, all ALL agents want is a sandwich and maybe a Coke to go (free at Broker Tours; $1.59 at 7-11; remember to cash in the can and you come out a nickel to the good!).

"And," she points out, "all the collectibles on the walls!", and she directs my attention to the shelves and cut outs and nooks and crannies filled with bric-a-bracs, porcelains and potteries of all manner of invention.

"Listen," I say, still looking beyond her slender posterior for the platter (do I smell roast beef!?), "I don't know, kiddo...you are going to bring a lot of people into this house and with all these nicknacks about, well...I'd be afraid that some of them are going to get 'paddy-whacked'...and you'll be the one that will have to, shall we say, 'give the dog the bone' if you get my drift". She didn't, apparently she is too young for the "This-Old-Man-He-Plays-One" joke motif.

"Come again?" she says, and I reply something to the effect that at my age, I would need a good dose of Viagra to do that (she didn't get that joke either).

"I don't understand," she says.

I tell her, "What I mean is...it's the stuff...no one -- not even you!!! -- will be looking at the house. It is ALL stuff. First you ask folks to take off their shoes...what if they have a hole in their sock?" (Thank God [again] I went to Marshalls!), "then they walk into this museum. Let me tell ya, honey, people want to live in a house, not a museum. You know who lives in a museum?...King Tut lives in a museum, and for him that's an upgrade, 'cause before that he was living in a freaking hole in the desert for 3 thousand years!. Folks want to see if their entertainment center from Jordan's Furniture will fit here. They want to see the glow of the hardwood floors; they don't want to tip-toe around some magic carpet smuggled out of Pakistan. For your sake and for the sake of your client, you need to get this place cleaned up. You're not selling admission tickets here...you are selling a house."

She begins a retort of some sort, but I am gone; I see the snake route to the kitchen and the spread; catered by Rebecca's!!! ooooh!, Turkey, Tuna, Veggie, and ROAST BEEF on SOUR DOUGH ROLLS ($7.99 each), a bag of Cape Cod Chips ($1.19)...and a Diet Coke.........TO GO.

The Belmont and Watertown and Newton and...THIEF

This is right outta the local Belmont (MA) "rag". It is too funny not to copy. Check out the "Perp's" Mode-of-Op...

By Dan Atkinson, Jen Thomas, Christian Schiavone and Emily Costello/belmont@cnc.com
Belmont Citizen-Herald
Posted Mar 31, 2010 @ 05:04 PM
Last update Mar 31, 2010 @ 05:27 PM
Newton, Mass. — Newton police have arrested a suspect in connection with last weekend’s theft of a bronze plaque from the Homer Building in Belmont, as well as a similar theft in Newton.

Vincent Cedrone, 52, of 315 Crafts St. in Newton, was charged with two counts of receiving stolen property, according to Newton Police Lt. Bruce Apotheker. He reportedly stole a bronze plaque from the Chestnut Grove condominium complex at 1175 Chestnut St. as well as the plaque in Belmont, Apotheker said.

Belmont police have also charged Cedrone with larceny over $250 and defacing property in connection with the March 21 theft of the Homer Building plaque, which was captured by several security cameras. The plaque is valued at about $1,900.

Cedrone’s arrest isn’t the first time his name has been connected to a missing historic plaque.

Last January, he received a $1,000 reward for returning the Belfry plaque stolen from Lexington’s Battle Green, according to one of the three businessmen who offered the reward.

Several weeks after the plaque went missing in December 2009, a Lexington police officer reportedly spotted Cedrone trying to load it into his car. He allegedly told the officer he found it and wanted to return it.

Now Cedrone is suspected of similar thefts in Belmont, Newton and Watertown, according to police officials in the three towns.

Lt. Richard Santangelo, a spokesman for the Belmont Police Department, said police received information that led them to Cedrone after releasing the security camera videos to news outlets, including one that aired the footage on the evening news.

The footage shows a man pulling into the Town Hall complex in a small white coupe at 4:30 p.m. The man appears to first try to pull off the bronze plaque on the school department building across the driveway, but gives up and moves on to the Homer Building.

“It was definitely the result getting the pictures out there to people,” said Santangelo. “Right after the broadcast we got some information.”

Santangelo declined to say what type of information police received and said he didn’t know whether it came first to police Belmont or Newton. After a joint investigation between police in Newton and Belmont, Newton officers made the arrest, Santangelo said.

So far, the Homer Building plaque has not been recovered and may have already been sold for scrap, according to police.

Santangelo said Cedrone is also a suspect in the theft of four other plaques from the Waverley Square area. One was mounted on a concrete post on the railroad bridge running along Trapelo Road. The other three were smaller plaques set in stone monuments around the triangular grassy space over the Waverley Square Commuter Rail station.

Historical plaques have turned up stolen in Newton and Watertown in recent months. Tablets have been swiped from Newton's Country Day School, Memorial Monument Rock at Newton City Hall and the Johnny Kelley statue.

Watertown had seven plaques stolen — three from Arsenal Park, three from in front of the Commander's Mansion on Talcott Avenue and one from Watertown Square. All appear to have been pried off.

Lt. Michael Lawn of the Watertown Police Department said police believe the thefts in Watertown, Belmont and Newton are related. Though Cedrone has not been charged with any of the Watertown thefts, Lawn said the police are "confident" the crimes were committed by the same person.

Thieves did not get away with another plaque at the George Washington monument in front of the Watertown Free Public Library, though the plaque suffered some damage from what appears to be an attempt at dislodging it.

Police believe the plaques were stolen so the metal could be scrapped.

Newton's Apotheker would not comment if Cedrone is connected to other plaque thefts, referring questions to the Middlesex District Attorney's office. The DA's office has not returned phone calls for comment.

At least a dozen plaques have been reported stolen in the Newton area over the past few weeks.

Despite Cedrone's arrest, John Carroll, one of the Lexington businessmen who gave Cedrone the reward, said he was just happy to have the plaque back.

“When we made the offer, it was no questions asked,” said Carroll, who owns Stone Meadow Golf on Waltham Street. “We were more interested in getting the plaque back and making sure it wasn't sold for scrap. It turned out well in the end.”

Copyright 2010 Belmont Citizen-Herald. Some rights reserved

April Fool's Day

Other than the fact that Rambler (Actually by then called American Motors) introduced the piece of crap "Gremlin" "car", we see nothing very funny happening on this day of fools.

We cannot even find a reason, other than of the Urban variety as why this day is noted as such. Some say it has to do with the changing of the New Year to January (instead of timing it with the beginning of spring -- that was foolish), but that seems not the case as Chaucer in the 1300's talks of Fools Day and the switcheroo to January took form a couple hundred years later.

One thing is certain -- pranks will be played, for humor is the name of the day. Lest, however we forget what humor is, we must be reminded at ALL humor needs a victim. Someone needs to fall, or have his face flattened by a frying pan, or be ridiculed in public. In order for an audience to laugh, some ONE person has to cry. So go out and do one's thing on this day...the village idiot is waiting to be slapped.

(D)arlington, MA

Notwithstanding the caveat that there is ONE MORE DAY left to the quarter, we hazard a trip north from Belmont and take a look at that darling of the Real estate agents, Arlington (get it?...DArlington...ahem...).

Agents bagged pieces of 33 single family payoffs in the first quarter of 2010. This rubs out as a jump over 2009 where 25 homes changed grimy hands, AND an increase over 2008 when 33 singles, shall we say, entered real estate matrimony (get it?...darling, single, matrimony. Hello?!?! I need a laugh here.).

I would not jump to conclusions here about the 8,000 rubdown being given out here. I leave that mental masturbation to the PHD's at Harvard.

Who knows, Arlington seems to be such a sweet little town. Maybe all they need is love.

Agents are full of S**T Redux, Redux as in again

'nuf said?... read on
By State House News Service
Belmont Citizen-Herald
Posted Mar 25, 2010 @ 01:02 PM
Boston, Mass. — Completed foreclosures in Massachusetts fell 19.6 percent in February, compared to January, but were 10.4 percent higher than in February 2009, according to data released Thursday morning. Also, foreclosure deeds jumped 13.8 percent to 2,058 in the first two months of the year from 1,809 during the same period in 2009, the Warren Group reported. Foreclosures started by lenders in Massachusetts in February were up more than 13 percent over January but down 7.5 percent from a year ago, according to data released Thursday morning. Over the first two months of 2010 foreclosure petitions – the first step in the foreclosure process – are down 6.1 percent from the comparable period in 2009, according to The Warren Group. “In the last six months, an average of about 2,100 foreclosure petitions were filed each month. That’s a pretty high level, but the pace is much lower than it was in the early part of 2008, when lenders were filing an average of about 3,000 petitions to foreclose a month,” Warren Group CEO Timothy M. Warren said in a statement.

Copyright 2010 Belmont Citizen-Herald. Some rights reserved

Liquid Assets in Waltham

Ms. Flanagan, my thoughts are with you today.

For those who do not know Ms. Flanagan, she is the Berkley St homeowner who is, well, not living in her home because the home moved...yes moved...about a foot, so the FOX news folks tell me, OFF its foundation.

Why did it move? Seems, 'though I am no engineer, it "trolleyed" off its cement track because of the recent storms that brought oodles of rain, followed by doodles of more rain a few days later (actually yesterday).

I cannot say how rain can "push a house", but I am reminded of the earthquake term, LIQUIFICATION. This is where the ground, normally harder that a sixty-year-old coot over dosing on Viagra, gets pushed, cajoled and shaken enough so that is gets soft (like the coot after his 2 minutes as Lord Lochinvar, or George Clooney). It may well be akin to when you kick a hard clump of dirt and it breaks up in to a gazillion little pieces. In that state of being, the soil no longer can hold the man-made edifice upon it and things shift, or fall down as the case may be. In Ms. Flanagan's case, water may have softened by the whole thing and, the rest is "moving".

The news reports that the Flanagan home is not in a flood zone (I know the street) and I would agree from my unprofessional view, but I would also conjecture that the forensics of the situation will point to GROUNDWATER issues, and that would not be covered anyway.

At all rates, my heart goes out to them and I wish them well. I would hope there will be no tears shed -- there has been wnought water...

Agents are full of S**T -- Redux

Yesterday (see below) I put out some stats on Orders of Notice in my corner of the world, YTD versus last year for the same period. They painted a grim picture "malgre" the rosy smiles of the "housewife home hucksters" who daily run about hawking homes whilst "habidashing" about the kitchen curtains.

I was asked by many for some support of the numbers as they were from "only a small sample" of towns.

Herewith, I pick Suffolk County -- That is BOSTON, REVERE, CHELSEA, WINTHROP. Here goes...

1/1/10 to 3/18/10 560 Orders of Notice.
1/1/09 to 3/18/09 194 Orders of Notice.

As far as Middlesex South goes...

1/1/10 to 3/18/10 745 Orders of Notice
1/1/09 to 3/18/09 202 Orders of Notice

'nuf said?

Agents are Full of S**T

Here in my corner of the world, the next time your bubbly agent tells you how great things are in the world and how that world will only be greater for you if you buy this home "TODAY!!!!!!", ask that agent of yours about "ORDERS of NOTICE". Now, mind you, they probably do not know what those things are. My advice in that situation is to get another agent, FAST! Just call me, actually.

That is an order of notice over yonder the right there. Not a pretty thing I would hazard (privacy information has been blocked out), AND, it gets uglier as one learns about them.

Herewith is a small primer on what we will now abbreviate as OON:

An OON may be considered an solid indicator of foreclosures coming up. It is a required document filed at the Registry of Deeds that notified folks that their lender is going to foreclose on them. The OON is required because any person in the military can seek relief under the Service members Civil Relief Act (one rightly cannot foreclose on a bloke shooting down some scum bucket who wants to do harm to Americans).

An now, hers are some stats to ponder.

Looking at this year to date (1/1 - 3/18) there have been in "my" areas (Belmont, Arlington, Watertown and Medford) 66 OON's plopped in mailboxes of sinking homeowners; 37 of those are in Medford, by the way.

In the same period last year, there were 14!...Yes only 14 (11 in Medford).

That is a big clunk. When one thinks of all the foreclosures that have been laid to rest, and these numbers coming up that ARE NOT in the stats,...well conjecture is worth a few moments when next we "latte at Starbucks".

What does this mean? Well, we will expand our stat collection and see if the patterns are "All over the board". Then, we will be better able to discern if your happy agent is full of S**T, or completely down and out of the crapper already.

"Ducking" the Weather

There are ducks swimming in my backyard...not in the little pond at the northwest corner, but in the yard where, at about this time every year, I begin the annual toil of planting happy grass and expunging, well, crab grass. Not today.

It appears the water table has risen above the banks of the pond, and the pond has made ownership of a substantial swath of the yard. I noticed a fish in a place that would normally make it a "fish out of water". I had hoped the little adventurer wold submarine itself back to the deeper climes of the pond, but sadly, that did not happen;...an aquatic squirrel tip-toed through the shallows and made a "canape" of the "carp."

Many open houses on this Sunday just gone were "called on account of rain." Brokers, deciding to put valor in the "bottom drawer", felt it best to "close for the day" rather than have to explain to a doubting public that the "wet basement is ONLY during unusual rains" such as these. I kept my open house going: I had not problem facing up to the sceptics about the seepage...no problem because NO ONE came.

The high school is closed today. Flooding. A few other communities are suffering the same fate. Not the flooding but having teenagers with a day off and nothing to do. I suspect the "little darlings" will spend it nursing cheap beer out of paper bags behind the Dunkin Donuts on Trapelo Road, or behind the library if the babbling brook there has not overflowed its banks. The town will fairly glow with beer cans reflecting in headlights by tonight.

I'll be out showing some properties. Let's take advantage of all this. How much off the list price can we get for a sopping basement? Time will tell....

So that's the way things are in my corner of the world in these rain swept times. Time to put on the flippers and check my own basement.

Wheel Estate Redux

I have been driving a Yaris these days. It appears to be, at this point at least, the only car that has not been recalled by Toyota.

Perhaps my Yaris is truly a super car, but perhaps there are other reasons for no recall and herewith are but a few speculations:

There are but a handful on the road. The numbers sold are counted in tens of thousands, not in millions like the Corolla. Perhaps Toyota forgot to recall them.

I paid a mere 13k for the jalopy. I suppose, if there is something wrong with the chariot, just dump it out on Monday morning with the rest of the recycled cans and plastic (the Yaris, I have been told, is made of aluminum recycled cans).

And, perhaps, anyone riding around in a little car made from Dr. Pepper metal deserves to die, so no bother for a recall.

Yet, as I go off to present a property, I am confident that the brakes will work at 30 MPH and the car (unlike the Prius) will not get stuck at 90 miles per hour (I doubt my Yaris will crank out 60 MPH without the hubcaps falling off).

Now I know what you all are thinking. Does he not look like a fool driving up a sales meeting whilst driving a Tonka Toy?! Where is his sense of status, his sense of lording over the baffled customer; the shock and awe of a BMW?

Ahh, yes, I have addressed that. You see, in this age of less is more, or if not more than just the best we can do, I feel the BMW or any other Luxury car from one of the former AXIS countries bespeaks a pompous and out-of-touch message. Unemployment is rising and this chump is driving up in a Lexus -- a new one??? -- damn I'll be damned if I'll give that parasite a lick of business.

Ahhhhh, but as I drive up in the Yaris, clean and shiny humming of cheap gas consumption, I am ever asked, "What is that little thing?"

A Yaris, I posit. Gets me where I need to go fast, easy, and simple. I can park it in the smallest of wedges. I am in and out. And with my business booming right now, I need to move, and move fast. Now how about this home...let's take a look and see what it does for you, shall we?

Status symbols are everywhere --- just remember symbols say, hard workers DO.