Con-DUMB-iniums Redux

Thought I would repeat these words of wisdom scribed long ago. It seems some in Bemont have not learned the lessons. Read on....


Condominiums have been around for years, and they have played a vital role in the housing, well being and financial dealing of folks all around the country. My own forey in Condo land began and ended happily. I have nothing but fond memories of that little slice of heaven (very little -- 330 sq ft.) I called home in the North End of Boston.

But there has been, in the last ten years, a newer trend in Condo conversions: the two-family conversion. This ditty, while it has all the wrappings of the 10, 20 or larger editions of the product, is unique in that -- well it is 2 units. I have seen documents put togther by quick sell 2 family owners that leave much to the imagination. Lots of questions, lots of fights.

You see, good readers, the larger condo associations operate like little city states. The citizens of Athens get together and Aristotle tells everyone that the building needs painting. Plato says something about the paint has to come from the stars, and Socrates is just trying to get everyone to vote before he has to limp off and take poison. They vote and they do -- or don't paint.

The 2-fam condo is more like a marriage. Ponder it: the two parties live in the same structure, have the usual domestic quarrels, deal with the breakdowns and leaks, squabble and spat over who should do what and, in general, are on their own in the cold cruel world. Yessir, a lot like a marriage, except you probably will never get a chance to see the other party in the arrangement naked.

Come to think of it, the 2-fam condo is more like an ARRANGED marriage; the papers are passed the money flows. Then you meet the other party (where, at least in the arranged marriage, you WILL get to see the other half naked).

But, few and far between are the arranged betrothals these days, and I should hazard that 2 Fam unions should be entered into with all the sanctity of an espousal made in heaven, not "Vegas".

So herewith, a few observational pointers for any dear readers who may be pondering "getting down on one knee" with Offers to Purchase in Hand:

1. Meet the other owner -- If this is "not possible", then run...put yourself back into the dating scene. Buyers who like a home will spend time cruising around the neighborhood, getting a feel for the whole environment and its people. Why not do the same thing for "the people" living under the same roof as you?
2. Know the structure. -- Everything should have accommodations. Firm up the holes over how things are paid. No round to-its, -- as in "I'll get around to it". Cut those schedules into stone and stick to them.
3. Know your electrical lines, especially in the basement. Know your water lines, especially in the basement.
4. Let the other party know when you are doing work on your part of the plantation. Even if it is simply painting, let them know. Smells permeate. If it is piping, wiring or any sort of invasive improvement, make sure all work channels through common wall space. If you plan to sand your floors this Tuesday, first make sure that the better half in the bottom unit did not just get off the Swing Shift at Raytheon.
5. After having sanded those hardwood floors, do not take up tap dancing.
6. If it does turn out that your marriage is not one of heaven and you falter in the above or any other areas, keep my number, (617) 470.8085, close by. I have lots of intimate "singles" waiting when you and the other half bust up. You may not get a chance to see anybody naked, but at least you will be able to leave your dirty

The Land that Time Forgot -- Waltham Real Estate Review for 2009

Did you get the pun up there in the title? The play on words? Time? Waltham? Waltham Clocks. Get it?...Ahhh never mind.

Be that as it may, Waltham was certainly the "land that time forgot". Did the economy over the last few years forget to give the kaibash to Waltham? It would seem so.

In 2009, 236 singles went to the "deed shop". That is a dip from 2008's 265, but the average price of those 2009 homes banged out to $412,000 versus 2008's uhhh, $412,000 -- the same "nada" difference. Also days on market changed but a wisp of a hair in the windmills of time: 82 days for 2009 against 85 days for 2008.

It appears Steady Eddie lives in Waltham. I doubt there will be much change in the new year. Based on these numbers we can predict how the market will be. So accurate -- you can set your watch on it.

The Good, the Bad and the Arlington (MA) Sales review

With the hour glass fairly tinkling the last sands of 2009 away, we can report that there were 141 single family homes sold in Arlington in the year (a few more may pop in). Average price was $495,000. This sets out at about 9 grand below asking (call it 2%. This compares out quite well to 2008 where the average price was $483,000 (12k less than '09) for the 115 homes that changed hands. Prices were UP and unit count was UP -- a lot up on the unit count; 22% up on the count, in fact

To the casual observer, it may not seem like there was ssoooooo much action. Casual observers judge action by signs -- how any signs are up and how many come down. I do look at this with a small calculation that I call "signs days". It is a bench mark that takes the number of sales in the year and multiplies it by the days the sign was up from beginning to listing until the day the home went sold. For 2008 those 115 sales took an average of 60 days to sell -- that works out to (115*60) 6900 sign days. For 2009, the 141 sales averaged on market for a speedy minimal 48 days or 6758 sign days. The Casual "looker" did not see any difference in the signs posted on the by-ways of Arlington, hence, a splendid home market has not been made public -- except to we few proud and happy Realtors marching through Arlington.

Don't Turn on the "Waterworks" for Watertown

Don't cry for me Watertown...so the Watertown agents should say.

In 2009 (so far...a few more may slip in), 78 single family homes were sold. This compares slightly to the good to 2008 when 75 "castles" changed hands. Not only that, these castles traded out faster than in 2008. It took 60 days for the lord of the Watertown manors to divest in 2009. In 2008 the lords and ladies had to wait 82 days for their vassals (agents) to get the job done.

As far as pricing goes,...it was a tad to the bleak, nothing like the Black Death of 1348, of course but average prices were a dip from $463,428 in 2008 to $455,707 in "09". $8,000 for a drop is nothing when compared to the whopping of a whack taken in Belmont where (as noted yesterday), the average palace got "pillaged" for about $70,000.

We may have assumed that demand for homes in Watertown has to have been buffeted by the $8,000 tax credit to first time buyers, but that does not seem to have been the case. 30 of the homes sold for under $400,000 in 2009. A look at 2008 shows that 32 homes sold for under $400,000 when the tax credit programs first went into action. In 2007, a scant 25 out of 93 homes sold were in that price range (average sale price $484,424 in 2007). The "stats" do not fully define the issue.

It may well be, after all is said and done, education: seeing prices not dropping from 2008 to 2009 brought the skittish buyers out and days-on-market times shortened. But who knows for sure?...no one...not even Santa.

Pick a Number -- any number (Belmont Sales in Review)

We know, we know...there are a few days left to 2009, and one or two sales may drop in before folks put on the lampshades and dance on tables in anticipation of 2010, but at the risk of jumping the gun, we feel it is nice to put out the sales report for Belmont.

In 2009, 143 single family homes changed hands. This compares to a scant 120 homes in 2008 (Whoopee!!!). Brokers and sales folk will pick that number and tell you the market is up up up by 18% or so. But let us look at a few more numbers...

The brokers had to do Wheel Estate a lot more in 2009...The average home was ON MARKET for 94 days in 2009 against 81 days in 2008. Now I know you folks out there don't care about the wear-and-tear on some agent's Lexus, but holy cow!...all that tootin' up and down Trapelo Road sure puts the cooler in a "wage slave's" Starbucks coffee.

And what with all that driving about, those 143 sales did not churn up the payola per house to the agents as it once did -- the average single family home in Belmont was listed for sale at 764,000 (+/- a few bucks), and sold for 731,000 (+/- a few samolians). In 2008, the average home went on market for 836,960 and passed on to new owners for 801,107 (exactly). That's a 9% drop in price, kiddos!

Looks pretty bleak, eh?...but let us gander to the bright side. Those 120 sales in 2008 grossed out to $96,132,840. If you take a ball park figure that an agent, after all is said and done, comes out with 1% in his or her pocket, then the Lexus agents in Belmont drove off with a collective $961,328 for coffee and new tires in 2008.

In 2009, those depressed sales sold by those depressed souls "overdriving" their Lexuses (Lexii?, perhaps) racked up a gross value of $104,529,711, with the agents pocketing $1,045,297+/-. That works out to a collective 9% INCREASE into the collective glove boxes of "them thar Lexii".

So more sales, longer time selling, and lower prices give us what? Pick a number and you tell us what you want to say about the Real Estate market, but...you can be sure as shootin' the agent's number is on the check.

To My Friends, Associates and Clients...

...from yesterday, today and tomorrow...

It is a bit scary out there; uncertain and unsure, but we will get by. Stick to the plans you've made...

...and especially to my enemies and adversaries, I must say, "Give me a call; we'll talk it out" and if you're still steamed over it, well...at least we tried.

My best "You" to All.

First Time Buyer in the Swiss Alps

I am with this young pup of an agent, and he just wants to tag along and tag along. He is taking notes; notes of everything that I do. I spy, on one of his little sheets, a marker in the midst of some scribe he has jotted. I ask, "What does that mark mean."

"Oh, that," he says, "it tells me when you took a breath..."

OK, I think, he is a cross between a psychopath and a boy scout, but then again, so long as he's making those marks, I am breathing so...

I try to break away, but he keeps coming. I am forced into my first white lie of the afternoon:

"I have to bug off now. I am taking a class."

"Wow. Cool," he says, "A class in what?"

I am a tad speechless by his insinuation into my person life, yet in an effort cut cut him off with good humor, I posture this little joke:

"Yodeling," I say. "I am taking a class in Yodeling", and I walk off...BUT

He is not done...It seems he did not get the joke, for he continues: "Cool, like where do you do that?"

And I am forced to posture, "Well, why...at the...ummm...at the Boston Center for Adult Education...of course."

"Wow, really neat, I did not know this stuff happened..."

Now I am forced to go on the offensive until he gets the joke:

"Well you see, Yodeling is not to be taken lightly. it is just not squawking! There is the syllabic part and the inflective part, and if either is not done correctly, you can start an avalanche! For example, take the syllabic 'Yodel-aye-ee oh!' -- very terse and sharp. Your have to smooth into it, but most people cannot do it...and bang! hitting it too hard and you've got a mountain slide! Let me demonstrate a smooth entrance to the oft quoted 'yodel-aye-ee-oh'....'YODELEETEE-YODELAYETEE-Yodel-aye-ee-ooohh.' Smooth, eh?"

He IS impressed and still believes it all, but his text messaging kicks in and he finds his pimpled teenage bride flacking out the OMG's and CU LTR's and ILYSM's and so ons and so forths. He is gone, and I am free.

This believe everythinh sucker is gonna go far in this world; that is for sure. He has to...all the way to Europe. Before he left, I sold him the entire north side of the Matterhorn for a song!

Happy New Year?

Low and behold; in my corner of the world agents are celebrating "Realtor New Year" on November 19. To the outside world, this might seem a bit strange -- a bunch of agents cavorting around the neighborhood, happy smiling celebrating taking tme off -- wait a tad, they are like that all year! So what be the reason for this date, and I may add, the flurry of activity going about as they get ready for the horns and hoopla on the 19th?

Agents in these last few days before the BIG 19 have been out in force trying to get a "deal" in. "Ya wanna buy a house?" Hey buddy...yeah you...c'mere...looks like you needs a house for a good time...You get the pitcure. Why why why?

Ahh, dear reader, the answer lies in the calendar... Let us look. 31 days in December plus those days from the 19th through the 30th of November, that makes, let's see 1, 2 3...12. Add that to the 31 and you get 45 days.

AND 45 days the benchmark used by agents. From the time an offer is written until the "papers" have passed is a standard (so we try) span of 45 days. Get some shnook to sign on the dotted line on November 18, and you get your agent check on December 31. Ink the contract on NOVEMBER 19 and BANG! 45 days later your agent commission check is there -- IN JANUARY! Happy New Year.

I should wonder about this, and how buyers and sellers are served by this and the countdown to moneymoneymoney, but, as an agent told me, "So long as the clients don't know, so what?"

OOOPS I just told you! And now you know something new about your agent. I just hope your New Year's Resolutions include learning something new.

Happy Birthday Internet

Forty years ago today, a message "lo" was sent from the University of California to The Stanford Institute. It was the FIRST Internet message (Al Gore was NOT there). With this in mind I look about the Real Estate world and what do I see? Nothing. Nothing has changed. In fact in spite of what they say, 89% of buyers go the the broker they know, not the one the Internet. Internet sites may give someone information, but when it comes to hard knocks, folks are knocking on the local doors. So keep on texting folks, everybody knows my name (and my face well, in the flesh). Its all good for business here on the cement highway...

"Swine" Flu

What with all the the talk of the above noted malady, there seems to be a trend towards NOT shaking hands. This, the idea of "shaking hands" in itself, begs a full article, what with countless pointers and directions about time, speed, and intensity of grip all playing into the A, B, C personality crap, but herewith, we are focusing on an singular episode. Read on...

Yesterday, I was asked to escort an agent to his new listing -- a BIG home; grand in all scales, not the least of them all was its age as well as the age of the owner. The owner, an elderly matron had, it seems, raised a whole family of children in the home. Those seedlings, now all sprung to full bloom in diaspora fashion across the globe, and husband, now gone to reward, the elderly woman decided to put the home on the market:

"Such a big home for such a small old lady," she said as my young agent friend brought me forward.

"Mrs. XXXXX, I want you to meet Al. He's my mentor, a great guy who knows everything about this area."

"Hello," she says, with a stern look of motherly scorn.

"Pleased to meet you," I say and I reach out to, yes, shake her hand...

"Heavens no," she says, and she recoils a feeble step.

"Oh, I am ever so sorry," I aver, "what with all the talk of swine flu and shaking hands, what must I have been thinking?"

Just then she applies: It has nothing to do with swine flu, young man. I just do not want to shake YOUR hand, now or ever! You were a bad boy, a bad little boy...do you know how long it took me to get those stickers off the bathroom mirror?!?!"

Stickers, bathroom mirror...oh yes, Bugs Bunny, Foghorn Leghorn, Yosemite Sam, and yes Porky Pig...I just have been 4 years old when I visited a strange home, for what reason I shall never know, and in a moment of childhood creativity, found some stokers in a room somewhere and plastered them all over a mirror. IT WAS THIS HOUSE!

"Bad boy," she said. You left without telling anyone. You deserved to be fully reprimanded. You were a sloppy dirty little pig of a child. I hope you have corrected yourself!

I am, again, 4 years old.....

"Now go...," she points to the kitchen, "in there, on the counter is aplate of fresh cookies. Take a napkin, and NO crumbs, I say!"