Belmont (MA) Sales (or no sales) review YTD 2011

Yeah, we got one more day to go, and I'll be waiting with baited (or holding until I turn blue) breath to see the numbers from the last 6 hours of February 2011 Deed recordings, but as of now, the numbers are in and they are, uhhh, well little numbers:

In Belmont, 4 homes were sold in the first 2 months of 2011. The good news here is that you can cut off your thumb and still use your left hand for the arithmetic (not good news). Days on market? It took agents 107 days to get the job done (about a week longer than it took them to do it in 2010 [101]).

The four homes sold went for an average of (let's see, add the pinky to the ring finger, the pointer and the no-no middle digit, divide by the life line and you get...) $724,000. That is a drop of 50 Grand from the sales in the same period as last year (where, by the way, 11 homes had the locks changed).

So let us see: it took longer to sell...they did not sell as many...they dumped 'em for a 6.5% drop below 2010's sales.

A lot of agents are talking about the snow: is it true or is it snow job aimed at blinding all of us to the real storm on the horizon? I went back 15 years and looked at sales for the same period. We've had some pretty nice winters in the last 15 years -- we've had some pretty crappy ones too. In the same two month period, 2009 comes in at 9 sales. Other than that, going back to 1996, sales for the 2 month period have been between a low of ten (in 2001), and a high of 24 (1999). Three times, sales hit 17; four times they came in at 14; twice at 16; twice at 18. FOUR SALES IN THE PERIOD IS DISMAL, plain and simple.

It's the weather we are being told. No one wants to buy; no one wants to sell; there's ice on the roads. Never mind that folks are more petrified for their livelihoods -- that the slippery roads are no match for New Englanders, but the slippery economic road we all may be taking may well be a journey too daunting. Never mind... we have our cheerful eternal optimist agent telling us all is well.

" 's no tellin' (get it? snow...'s no) telling what will happen next, but one thing is for certain -- we all need to get out the shovels. One way or the other we will be shovelling -- either snow or optimistic B.S., who's to say?

Ghost Writing on the Wall

She comes to me and says, "I am interested in a home that is haunted."

I mishear -- I think she says something about hunting as in a hunting lodge.

Oh, heavens no,no,no she disputes, "NO I said haunted as in ghosts."

Now folks, I do not believe in ghosts. I also do NOT believe in Democrats in the White House, but they ARE there for the moment, so maybe just maybe there are ghosts.

"Sadly," I say, "when I search for ghosts, it does not come up on MLS."

"Oh, dearie", she laughs, "of course they won't come up. They are ghosts, they hide. We won't know until we get into the home. I'll feel them."

"Why," I foolishly ask (never ask a question unless you already know they answer!), "why do you needs ghosts?"

"Well, I am single, "she says, "and I am afraid to be alone at night. The ghosts will keep me company." Crissakes, I think to myself: I am in Great Expectations showing property to Miss Haversham...where's Estella when you need her (she was the Hot One!)...just my luck.

We head to one wreck in Billerica. What luck! She hears sound from above -- an "otherworldly presence coming down." Turns out it was squirrels in the attic.

We go to a dump in Burlington: sadly she prefers her ghosts to be Kosher -- I AM not MAKING THIS UP! (do ghosts eat?).

At the third home she looks at me and says, "I should have known you'd bring me to a place like this. Looks like something out of the Vampire Diaries! I knew it would come to this."

"Say wha'?", I stammer.

"Well look at you," she posits, "those sunk in cheeks, you are rail thin and youthful yet have the wear of the ages in your face, those eyes; big round, dark that seem to want to fly out of your head..." [note to myself -- oh brother, get me "outta" here!] "...Yes, you have the look of a benevolent vampire about you. NO no no...I want ghosts, not vampires to share my life."

Well folks, no sale, but I have to look at the bright side. I have a first time buyer who's not scared! I sent her to Bank of America for her preapproval -- if that don't scare her, nothing will!

Un-Staging

Everybody knows about staging. Okay, so maybe a few of you good folks do not, so by way of quick explanation, "Staging" is a concept wherein a seller prepares the home for sale by doing cockamamie things that the "home stagers" tell you will sell your home FASTFASTFAST.

Now, folks, you and I know that so nobody is fooled by some bric-a-brac bought at the local Homegoods store, or candles burning in the alcove. We ALL know that in order to sell a home FASTFASTFAST, you have to price it RIGHTRIGHTRIGHT.

I have never been one for staging. It all looks so phony to me. I walk into a "staged" home and I think of Ikea; I smell the scented candles and I want to sneeze at best (at worst, I want to look behind the fridge for the mildew).

No folks, I do not like staging, but that does not mean I am in favor of UN-STAGING...

UN-Staging is a concept I developed. I tell my clients that we must make sure not to unstage and they ask, "What, perchance is that?"

Un-staging is what I call the act of NOT doing those things that will turn off a buyer or, at best, mitigate against a favorable offer. Herewith is a list of UN-Staging items -- things we should not do:

Do not leave the foreclosure notice on the dining room table -- No one is going to up their offer for your home if they know you are in hock up to your hams. Likewise the overdue bills.

Do not show off your pets -- Fido suffers from "bad breath in dog's mouth", sorry to tell you that (you smell just like him after all these years of letting him sit in your lap). No one thinks your dog is cute. As soon as I see a free range dog, I begin to wonder where is the wee-wee stain from those paper training days.

Cats -- forget it, lock 'em up. Every five minutes they are hurling a hair ball; the litter box stinks and the food on the floor is gross.

Hubby -- if the man of the house uses male enhancement, for goodness sakes, hide the bottle; do not leave it on the dresser. We ALL know what goes on in the bedroom, and we may even go to a movie and watch Sasha Gray do it in mind boggling concatenations of styling, but we DO NOT want to think about YOU doing it. While you are at it,...change the bedsheets.

We have all been told that cooking makes a buyer feel all warm and fuzzy, but DO NOT leave the stew on the stove during a showing. The whole recipe is going to boil down to a tarry mass while you are gone and the house will stink like burnt rubber.

I love fireplaces, but do NOT leave 'em going when I show up with a prospective buyer. The only message that can come of this is, "What kind of a moron lives here who would light a fireplace and leave?"

Do not put the dirty diapers into the diaper bin -- they still stink! You just can't smell it anymore. Put the whole bin outside. While you are at it, take down some of Junior's picture. Too many pictures makes the house look too well lived in.

Don't use the basement for storage! If "ya got" clutter, rent a place. Boxes piled high just look like you are hiding something.

Hide the magazine collections. We are all very impressed knowing you read the New Yorker...this week's issue is just fine, but we DON'T need to see them going back to 1965.

Don't leave 3 weeks of leftovers in the fridge. It smells, and at any rate, the fridge may well be part of the offer. Even if it is not, the buyers are going to open it.

Do you really need to leave that box of Trojan's in the medicine cabinet? Do you really need to leave the "Girls Gone Wild" DVDs on the night rest? If you do, at least leave a copy of Citizen Kane there.

DO NOT vacuum TOMORROW! Do it today.

Do not soak the dishes.

Do NOT smoke...EVER. In fact, stop smoking TEN YEARS before you decide to sell. That is how long the nicotine is going to take to dry out of your wall board.

Don't leave fancy chocolates around...good ol' Hershey works just fine. I mean, it might not have an impact on selling the home but, well, what I mean is...I like Hershey...