Monday, November 26, 2007

Where There's a Will, There's a Way

I hear there is a couple of mid-lifers having a problem selling their home in Pittsburgh. They've come up with a novel way of marketing the home. They plan to give a rather sizeable chunk of money to the soul who buys the house. Sounds normal except for the catch. The "chunk of change" comes upon the death of the "mid-life" sellers.

I plan to keep a tab on how this one plays out, not just because the mid-lifers may be on to something (folks'll try anything in this market), but to see how the "50 something sellers here" make out once the house is sold. I am sure they plan a happy retirement, but one has to wonder about the untimely-ness of it all should something unexpected happen, say radiation poisoning (like that Russian), or a toll booth opens into a hail of bullets (like that "Sonny" Corleone thing).

Come to think of it, the whole thing does sound like a treatment for a macabre sit-com...Where's Owen Wilson when you need him?...Oh, wait a minute, didn't he almost just die?

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Flipped Out

This from Diane Tuman as extracted from the New York Post:


Lots of addresses fill up the “most viewed homes per day” table that Zillow data analysts compile. It’s anyone’s guess as to why these homes attract clicks. Maybe it’s the home of a celebrity. Maybe it’s a fabulous home for sale. Or, maybe it’s a home that was turned into a brothel. No, really.

Last week, this home in New Rochelle turned up on the “most viewed” list. New Rochelle is located in New York state’s Westchester County, and is one of the more upscale counties in the U.S., with a Zindex of $638K. Turns out that the fact the home was being used for prostitution was just part of an incredible story:

The New Rochelle police routinely monitor Internet sites and saw an ad on Craigslist for “Grand Opening Special! Hot models, soft sensual touch…New Rochelle has Westchester’s first and only member’s only club for men and women…We offer role play, fetishes, light body rubs, body rejuvenation and dominatrix.”
When the police showed up, they busted a couple who are allegedly mortgage brokers. They were into house flipping (among other things, evidently) and were underwater with a few houses, including this one.
The house is across the street from the Thomas Paine Museum (American Revolutionary who authored “Common Sense“)
The house was on the market for $750K, then lowered to $600K and still wouldn’t sell. It was then rented to families who came and left, fell into neglect and then was turned into a brothel two weeks ago when heavy window-shades were installed and 5-7 cars would be seen parked in front each night.
Rare event in Westchester County? Evidently not. This is the second sex bust in Westchester this year: In March, a dominatrix was leasing a Bedford estate from a rabbinical school next door and faces prostitution charges.

(Photo courtesy New York Post)

Thursday, November 15, 2007

I Have Moved to Better Help You Move

I am pleased to announce my affiliation with CENTURY 21 COMMONWEALTH, the number one selling entity in Massachusetts. My new situation offers me a vibrant framework through which I may better serve you -- whether you are a buyer or a seller, the resources and clout behind me now will lead you to the most advantageous pricing in your transactions.

I'd love to meet with you in any of our conveniently located offices to discuss how I may best serve you.

Best of everything.
Al.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

THIS is Veterans Day...

...not tomorrow. It was born out of the paperwork that ended World War I, when the shooting stopped at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11 month of 1918. I would like to have my readers click the link and visit HOMES FOR OUR TROOPS. A non profit organization that aids our gallants in finding what we all want when THEY come back from the war. Oh, they are local to me. Taunton MA.

It is an efficient organization, Gold Starred, and lean -- spends but 7% of donations on operations -- most organizations tout 20% as lean...how's that 7% sound for getting the job done.

So visit. www.homesforourtroops.org.

Let's do for them what they do for us -- "step up to the box".

I will be off the Real Estate today. My old uniform is pressed and ready, and if my kids giggle when I put it on, well, then it was worth any sharpnel I might have taken those years ago.

Al.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

"Wheel" Estate

This from a young agent:

"I set up a little tour -- mom, dad, kid and off we go.

"Before we get to the first house, junior has to go potty, so I pull into a gas station, but..."

Here I interject, "But Mama does not want to sully the Little Prince by allowing him relief in a, shall we say a place below his station?"

Yes she replies.

"So I have to go the the CVS up the road. And it takes forever, and ever. But when they come out the kid is empty, but he mom is full. She went shopping. Takes out a pink little ditty and tells me, 'I love these razors, I can go 3 days without worrying about being sleeveless'. The kid has a gooey candy bar and he's got that -- I'm gonna rub this stuff on your seats -- grim about him.

"And, all the while, while they were in there consumer testing, the dad is in the car with me -- polka faced or dead, I cannot tell -- like one of those statues on Easter Island."

"Bad trip?" I say.

"Get's worse. About a minute after we get to the road, ol' stone face asks me to pull off. Wifey says, 'Oh honey, not again!!' and he says 'Just pull over right here'. I pull over right where he wants and he jumps out, goes into a dry cleaner. He comes out a few minutes later with ... you guessed it ... his shirts...and wifey chimes in, 'Not again, I told you a million times to use Lee's down the road" and he yells, 'But I like this place and they're my shirts and' blah blah blah...

"While all the while the kid is rubbing caramel onto my seats and I know, just know that they are not going to be buying any homes today...