10,000 Steps, Again...

Our bodies are essentially the same sacks of matter as the bodies of the folks living in these parts some 10,000 years ago. Now I know someone is going to say we are better than the primordal coot rubbing sticks together for a fire as the better half sits in the mud hut, but really when you think about it, are not we that way now? I mean give it some thought and you will note that our homes are brick, stone, cement, stucco -- whatever: when you ponder it, all that stuff is essentially glorified mud. And as for the fire, well, my neighbor took a good half hour getting the briquettes sizzling so he could grill up the ol' brontoburgers this week end just done.

Where we do DO differ is in our methods of locomotion. 10,000 years ago our humanoid ancestor was more like the traveling salesman -- except he had to travel, find the pig, then kill it before he could bring home the bacon for pre-history's answer to the BLT.

Today there is the Stop and Shop, or the Shaw's or any other emporium you may name. And we don't chase and kill the Impala -- we drive in it.

We no longer are taking our 10,000 steps a day. We are Virtual touring, Virtual office"ing", Virtual everything. Except our food is not Virtual. And we are getting fat. We eat too much.

Think it over and you will see how, in even the last 20 years, we have lost our steps: The media remote everytime we change a channel -- 15 steps lost; the cell in our pocket -- 30 steps lost everytime we do not get up to answer the call; the drive through window -- 100 steps; the Hallmark email greeting to Grandma instead of the letter mailed -- 250 steps to and from the Post Box.

Every 25 steps a person takes will burn 1 Calorie. The above examples measure up to about 16 calories of fat stuck on the ribs. Those 10,000 steps we do not take represent about 400 calories of surplus lobbering down there; turning that belly button from an "outy" into an "inny".

What does this have to do with Real Estate? Well, how about scrapping that Virtual tour and taking a real one? Pick your town and walk the streets, hear the birds, feel the pavement under your feet and see if a tax assessment may be in the offing (no V-tour will show that). Then, if you are in my area, call me and I'll walk over and meet you at the corner of Elm and Godin with a lock box key to anything you want to see.

Money moneymoney muhhhneee...

Do you know which special interest has given more money to the Obama campaign than any other?

If you guessed "trial lawyers" -- well, okay, that's too easy. But can you guess which special interest came in SECOND?

Labor unions? Nope. The Green Lobby? Nope. AARP? Wrong, again. NEA? Nyet.

Give up? Okay, here's the answer: Wall Street.

That's right. Wall Street securities and investment firms have given over $35 million to OBAMARAMAS this election cycle. That is nearly five times the amount they've given to McCain.

If you've been wondering why the financial industry has been in meltdown -- and taking your 401(k) or investment portfolio down with it -- now you know.

Let's face it: The former frat boys who populate Wall Street today understand economics about as well as the pinko professors whose courses they snored through.

That's why betting their entire industry on "subprime" loans to people with no jobs and no collateral made sense to them -- and why betting the entire U.S. economy on the likes of Obama makes sense to them now.

These jokers don't even know what's in their own self-interest, much less yours. Trusting them with your money is like trusting Bill Clinton to babysit your underage niece.

A Piece of History

Oh, brother, what I could do with that title up top. But here is is used in the more pedagogical bent, so say -- educational vein, for those among you who would want to deep space "9" into the mind of the agent.

That phrase is used to conjure an image of respect and awe when selling a property. An old property. I must admit, that I've never used said jargon as it bespeaks to me the true nature of the structure, by way of reading between the lines: -- read a piece of S&%T; as in HORSE, or DOG or BULL. Not that new construction is any better; those cardboard shacks painted neutral tan and "staged" like a Saturn V rocket (1969 Moon launch) are just as worthy of the fertilizer farm.

I prefer the non monikered home. As it were, the refuse to submit to age discrimination and call a house by its qualities, and not make issue of age. Save the age for the wifey...you know, ol' bat, ol' battleax ol' buzzard...

Looking for Home in All the Wrong Places

They were living in one town and searching that town on the internet. They were looking in the WRONG place.

Then they came to me. I assessed their needs and wants for size, school, location and budget.

Then I brought them to this home. "It looks like a little bed and breakfast!” they cried, delirious with joy. We "Closed" in 30 Days.

Their daily commute to work is cut from 45 minutes DOWN to 10. And they have the perfect home. I took them to the RIGHT place.

That is "StreetSmarts"!
If you are thinking of SELLING, call me. Buyers are fumbling in a virtual world, but your home is in a REAL world. I'll help them find you. I'll bring them to your door.
If you are BUYING, come talk to me. Your home is waiting; you are just not looking in the RIGHT place.
Put "StreetSmarts" to work for you. Let me go to work for you.

It takes a lot more than...

It takes A LOT MORE than SNAPSHOTS and OPEN HOUSES and Internet exposure to sell your home. In fact, studies show that prospective buyers use pictures, open houses and the Internet to find houses they DO NOT want to buy.

That’s where my “StreetSmarts” comes in FOR YOU. I spend three hours a day, 6 days a week, 50 weeks a year on the sidewalks, roads and by-ways of our town. I meet face-to-face with folks in their apartments and houses. I do not wait for them to come to my listings. I bring my listings and YOUR HOME to them. I’ve placed 5 first time buyers in their homes in the last 2 months. My contacts are waiting for your home.

LIST YOUR HOME WITH ME. Let me put YOUR HOME in my pocket and walk it around town. You’ll be happy with the results. All Real Estate is, in the final analysis, LOCAL, and if a picture is worth a thousand words, then a good pair of walking shoes and a solid hand shake are worth an album of snapshots.

Call me, email me, or stop by and let me get to your forYou.

I am Century 21 COMMONWEALTH. What may I do for you, today?

Ad Copy

When they write -- they mean...

Old charmer - an old and ugly house
Stunning house - the house is not ugly
Tudor - two bedrooms are in the attic which is not insulated; very hot in summer and very cold in winter
Cape Cod - styled after Third World slum dwellings
Sunny corner lot - noisy intersection of two busy streets
Easy freeway access - noisy arterial street close to freeway
Low maintenance lot - no yard; the kids will have to play in the street
Meticulously maintained in the original condition - the appliances are 50 years old
Ready to remodel - the house is about to collapse; you will have to invest twice the asking price in remodel before you can move in
Newly remodeled kitchen - 50-year old cabinetry and faucets have been replaced with cheap modern equivalents
Ready to move in - the interior has been painted with one coat of cheap paint
Desirable neighborhood - this little house is extravagantly overpriced because the neighborhood has a snobbish reputation
1 car garage - you can drive your Ford Escort into the garage but there is no room to open the door
In-city living - it is not safe to walk in this neighborhood after dark
Recreation room with wet bar - basement has been painted and has a faucet
Large family room - large basement
Bedroom in basement - basement has a 1′ by 2′ window
Lots of storage space - basement too small to be called a family room
Partial mountain view - you can see the tip of Mt. Olympus if you climb the roof
Territorial view - good view of your neighbor’s bedroom window
Build sweat equity - the house is not inhabitable
Storybook - the house is old and the roof is not flat
Efficiently designed kitchen - the kitchen is too small to fit two people at the same time
Seasonal creek - muddy ditch across the property
Usable land - all the trees are gone.
Doll-house - tiny place filled with ugly knick-knacks.
Country living - too far from anywhere to drive to work
Country in the city - a grotesquely overpriced large lot with a 2 bedroom house built before World War I
Cozy - not a single room could fit a full size bed
Three season sunroom - a small addition the owner did not have enough money to insulate
Close to all amenities - the backyard is a shopping mall parking
Beachfront property, complete remodeling in 1996, a steal at this asking price - hurricane Andrew motivated the remodeling; no hurricane insurance available, at any price
Must see inside - the outside is ugly
Motivated sellers - subtract 15% from the asking price
Easy to heat - see “cozy”
Wildlife nearby - children and pets get ticks and fleas
Near transportation - Amtrak train goes through the backyard, every 15 minutes, day and night
Pet friendly neighborhood - organic matter constantly deposited in the front lawn
Neighborhood watch - your next door neighbor has binoculars trained on your house
Just available - previous owner just died on the premises, hope you don’t believe in ghosts

Redirected

Usually I get a few call on Friday nights. A few folks think they can get a jump on the weekend home buying scene and they use the said prime time to call on homes. I love it.

Not this Friday last however. I wondered why. It was 08/08/08. Lucky numbers. Was it Kharma? Was it celebration of Little Hailey Hauer, born on that morning at 08:08 AM and weighing in at 8 pounds 8 ounces (metric nerds...eat your heart out)? Young Miss Hailey H. will no doubt figure out for herself that "H" is the 8th letter in the alphabet.

Was it John Edwards coming uhhhhh clean on his affair. That would have made for great Presidential fodder. Think of the headlines -- "EDWARDS ADMITS TO HAVING 'FIRST LADY OF THE NIGHT'"?

Whatever, no calls. It was, after much thought, simply the Olympics kicking in. Lots of fireworks and people running around in funny colors -- The Sports World morphs into Disney. Beach Volleyball as a Gold medal sport uh-huh yeah (women jumping around in bikinis -- oh yes).

I took the time off from the phones. Watched the History Channel.

Today is back to business. 8 is lucky, they say (except in billiards). I've got a great house numbered 88. Take your Olympic endorsement cash and use it for the Down Payment.