Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Don't Cry for Me, Agent Tina.....

Yesterday, being Washington's birthday, I decided to plaster a bit of personal honesty on Facebook -- that rightly maligned piece of crap that the kids use to coordinate their drug deals all the while being watched by B&E folks looking for a sap to tell the world he is on vacation for the next 5 days...

My bit of honesty took the review tense. It noted that I HAD been gone for 9 days. It opined that "nobody" noticed.

Today, as I check emails, messages, calls, letters, carrier pigeon guano, and all other manner of communication avenues, it is clear that my "nobody" opinion was a tad off the mark.

Herewith are a few comments that came by the assorted info-hiway splatters:

"Are you dead?!?!...I heard so, call me if you are not."

"Hey baby, you lookin' for a good time in Woburn?" (Emailer had the a wrong addy -- that's what happens when you drink mercury instead of margaritas.)

"Hey, it's me...call me, ok uhhh, I was wondering about that house." (Who are you?)

"Hey, it's me...did I just call you or did I dial wrong? OK so either way, call me."

"I'd like to order a..." (We cut that one off right there.)

"Msng U in Woburn. (What's going on up there.)

"OMFG whre hv U gone?" (Joltin' Joe has left and gone away)

"I was wondering if I can set up an appt to meet with yu and see if you think I can sell my house in Belmont" (I actually responded to that one while I was in Southern Climes)

"Viagra Cheap!" (I don't want the Viagra to be cheap...I want the DATE to be cheap!)

"Hi this is Tina from XXXXXX Realty, I mean Betty, Bettina, Elizabeth, Liza...god so like I can get so many names out of Elizabeth, and I forgot which one YOU call me, so call me." (For the record, I call her "BETH"!!!!!!!)

I guess I was missed after all...