One Liners

And now for my occasional feature where I cut loose with some of the quick flips that pass by or filter through my brain:

The Real Estate Sales Lady is married to the son of the largest Funeral Director in town. I suggested to them they print joint business cards that have the slogan, "One way or another, we're going to get you into land."

A guy is listing his house -- a small job with an "in-law" apartment up top -- for sale and he tells me, "I've lived here for 36 years and I don't regret one day of it."
Mournful statement until he says, "The one day I don't regret is March 17, 2005. It was my mother-in-law's funeral."

I'm taking a family on a buying tour and decide to treat them to lunch at the Andros Diner on Trapelo Road in Belmont. Mom asks the daughter, "Of all the places we've been to, which do you like best?"
"This one," the girl says, "they feed us here."