Sub-Marine Warfare

Some kids, oh say about 12-13, are sitting on the porch talking about the new baby in the neighborhood. They asked me if I had seen it and what I thought it looked like.

"Well," I say, "to me all newborns look like Winston Churchill." I am met with blank stares. Now think of it,-- newbies are mostly bald, and round and wrinkled -- you know, like WC, except newbies don't have the stogie hanging off their lips as they stare down the Luftwaffe. Obviously, the 12-13ers did not get the joke.

"Like what?" says one.

I ask them if they know who Churchill was:

"Oooh, oooh, oooh, wait," says one, "Yes I think I know this one...He's the voice of Mermaid Man on Spongebob, right?"

How, I wonder, could any soul confuse Winston Churchill with the great American Oscar winning actor, Ernest Borgnine (think fast who plays Mermaid Man's sidekick on Spongebob -- hint -- think McHale's Navy [yes a Borgnine TV show] and who played McHales's sidekick?).

"Churchill", I say, "you know the 'We shall fight them on the Beaches', Churchill, the 'Never in the field of Human Endeavor' Churchill, the 'Iron Curtain' Churchill..." and then the torpedo...

"Well", says one of them, "whatever, Spongebob is just re-runs now anyway and I like Squidward's voice the best anyway, and did you know my Dad keep a stash of Tootsie Rolls in the glove compartment of the van and..." I think about just how peaceful and perfect this neighborhood is. I would not want it anyother way There's a property going up for sale a few houses down. Call me at 617.470.8085 for a showing: I'll lay off the history lesson